FUNNY WOODWORKING QUOTES

“I told my wife I wanted to be a carpenter. She told me to go build an ark.”

“Woodworking: because you never know when you’ll need a homemade catapult.”

“I’m a woodworker. I like to think of it as playing with power tools instead of dolls.”

“My workshop is my happy place. Unless I run out of sandpaper.”

“I have a lot of wood in my life, but I prefer the kind that doesn’t talk back.”

“Woodworking: the art of turning perfectly good lumber into sawdust.”

“Woodworking is my therapy. That, and a good bottle of bourbon.”

“I’m not a hoarder, I’m just a woodworker with a really good collection of scraps.”

“Measure twice, cut once, curse for an hour.” “I may not be a master craftsman, but I can sure make a mess in my workshop.”

“Woodworking: because real men don’t buy furniture, they build it.”

“I don’t always build furniture, but when I do, it falls apart.”

“I like big saws and I cannot lie.” QUOTES FOR COWARDS

“If at first you don’t succeed, get a bigger hammer.”

“My favorite kind of wood is free wood.”

“I make sawdust faster than a tornado in a lumberyard.”

“Woodworking: where mistakes turn into ‘rustic charm’.”

“I have too many clamps,” said no woodworker ever.

“My wife says I spend too much time in the workshop. I say she doesn’t appreciate fine craftsmanship.”

“I’ve got 99 problems and a chisel ain’t one.”

“Woodworking: the only hobby where you can justify buying more power tools by saying ‘I need them for a project’.”

“I like my coffee black and my lumber rough.”

“I don’t have a drinking problem, I have a woodworking problem.”

“I saw it, I liked it, I built it. And then I had to ask for forgiveness later.”