“I’m not a morning person or a night owl. I’m a permanently exhausted pigeon.”

“I don’t sweat, I sparkle.”

“I’m not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?”

“I don’t always have a crush on someone, but when I do, it’s always a fictional character.”

“If at first, you don’t succeed, redefine success.”

“I’m a professional nap-taker, and I take that job very seriously.”

“I’m not weird, I’m limited edition.”

“I’m not arguing, I’m just passionately expressing my point of view with a tone louder than yours.”

“I’m not lazy, I’m energy-efficient.” “I have a personality you can’t handle.”

“I’m not bossy, I’m the boss.”

“I feel like I’m a tree, and my followers are my branches.”

“I’m not short, I’m concentrated awesome.” CHRISTMAS GRIEF QUOTES

“I’m not shy, I’m just plotting your demise.”

“I’m not weird, I’m wired differently.”

“I’m not always right, but I’m never wrong.”

“I’m not high-maintenance, you’re just low-effort.”

“I’m not perfect, but my eyebrows are.”

“I have resting nice face.”

“I’m not a morning person, but I’m willing to negotiate.”

“I may not be rich, but I have expensive taste.”

“I’m not a snack, I’m a whole meal.”

“I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.”

“I’m not single, I’m in a long-term relationship with my goals and aspirations.”