LIBRARY HUMOR QUOTES

“I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.” – Anonymous

“I’m reading a book about the history of glue. Can’t seem to put it down.” – Anonymous

“I once tried to hang a bookshelf with invisible brackets. It didn’t work, but it sure looked impressive!” – Anonymous

“The librarian said I couldn’t take the book home because it was invisible. I said, ‘Well, obviously I can’t argue with that!'” – Anonymous

“I can’t believe I got kicked out of the library. I was just trying to find a good book to read, but I guess you can’t judge a cover.” – Anonymous

“Why did the librarian slip and fall? Because she lost her balance!” – Anonymous

“I asked the librarian if she had any books on paranoia. She whispered, ‘They’re right behind you!'” – Anonymous

“Why don’t skeletons fight in the library? Because they have no guts!” – Anonymous

“I tried to return a borrowed book today but the librarian said it was past its due date. I said, ‘Well, I’m not surprised. It was a travel book after all!'” – Anonymous “I wanted to donate all my books to the library, but they said they already have enough suspense!” – Anonymous

“I once borrowed a book on anti-gravity. It was impossible to put down!” – Anonymous

“I asked the librarian if they had a book on Pavlov’s dogs and Schrodinger’s cat. She replied, ‘It rings a bell, but I’m not sure if it’s there or not!'” – Anonymous

“I went to the library and asked the librarian if she had any books on paranoia. She whispered, ‘They’re right behind you!'” – Anonymous RESTRICTIONS QUOTES

“I tried writing a book in the library, but people kept criticizing my plot. I guess my story didn’t have enough shelf appeal.” – Anonymous

“Why do librarians always win at poker? They’re experts at holding a straight face!” – Anonymous

“My friend asked me why I always bring a ladder to the library. I told him, ‘Well, I never want to be on the same page as everyone else!'” – Anonymous

“I told my friend I wanted to write a book, but I couldn’t come up with an interesting plot. They said, ‘Just write about your life, it’s already a comedy!'” – Anonymous

“What’s a librarian’s favorite type of music? Shhh-ymphony!” – Anonymous

“What did the librarian say when the books started falling off the shelves? ‘We need to keep things more grounded here!'” – Anonymous

“I told my boss that I needed time off to visit the library. He said, ‘Absolutely not, you’ve already read enough fiction here!'” – Anonymous

“I was reading a book and someone asked me, ‘Why are you holding it so close to your face?’ I said, ‘It’s a book about nearsightedness!'” – Anonymous

“Why did the librarian bring a ladder to the library? Because she wanted to reach new heights in her work!” – Anonymous

“I asked the librarian if they had any books on procrastination. She said, ‘Sorry, they’re all checked out!'” – Anonymous

“I wanted to borrow a book on phobias from the library, but I was too afraid to ask.” – Anonymous