“Communication is the key to any successful relationship…if you can fake that, you’re golden.” – Richard Jeni

“I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.” – Anonymous

“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin

“I can explain it to you, but I can’t understand it for you.” – Anonymous

“I would like to thank my fingers for always being there for me when I need to count things.” – Anonymous

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” – Maya Angelou

“The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.” – Albert Einstein

“I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.” – Anonymous

“A clear conscience is a sign of a bad memory.” – Anonymous

“I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.” – W. C. Fields

“I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.” – Douglas Adams

“I don’t always have a sarcastic answer, but when I do, I usually forget it.” – Anonymous

“I’m sorry, did you say something? I was too busy thinking about what I’m going to eat later.” – Anonymous FACEBOOK PROFILE QUOTES IN HINDI AND ENGLISH

“Communication is a skill that you can learn. It’s like riding a bicycle or typing. If you’re willing to work at it, you can rapidly improve the quality of every part of your life.” – Brian Tracy

“The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.” – Bertrand Russell

“I’m not lazy, I’m just conserving my energy for when I really need it.” – Anonymous

“I speak fluent sarcasm.” – Anonymous

“I can resist everything except temptation.” – Oscar Wilde

“I thought I wanted a career, but it turns out I just wanted a paycheck.” – Anonymous

“I have a photographic memory, but sometimes I forget to put film in the camera.” – Anonymous

“The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.” – Anonymous

“I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right…again.” – Anonymous

“Don’t take life too seriously. You’ll never get out alive.” – Elbert Hubbard

“My wife says I never listen to her. At least I think that’s what she said.” – Anonymous