“Zombies don’t scare me, it’s the thought of running out of Twinkies during the apocalypse that really gives me nightmares.”

“I don’t always run, but when I do, it’s away from zombies.”

“Why do zombies love Halloween? Because they can finally blend in with the crowd.”

“I’m not saying I’m prepared for a zombie apocalypse, but I have watched every episode of The Walking Dead.”

“What do you call a zombie with a sense of humor? A deadpan comedian.”

“I tried to start a zombie-themed workout group, but it just turned into a lot of slow walking and grunting.”

“The best weapon against a zombie is a good pair of running shoes.”

“Zombies are like toddlers – they’re always hungry, they never sleep, and they’re constantly making strange noises.”

“I never knew how much I relied on caffeine until the zombie apocalypse hit and I had to scavenge for my own coffee beans.”

“If zombies ever attack, I’m going straight to the Winchester, having a pint, and waiting for it all to blow over.”

“Why did the zombie cross the road? To get to the brains on the other side.”

“I’m not afraid of the zombie apocalypse, I’m afraid of the lack of hygiene in a post-apocalyptic world.”

“If the zombie apocalypse ever happens, I’m just going to tell them I’m already dead and hope they believe me.” QUOTES FROM THE BOOK IT ENDS WITH US

“Zombies are like insurance salesmen – you hope they never show up at your front door.”

“I always feel sorry for zombies – they have such a hard time finding a good dentist.”

“The only good zombie is a dead zombie.”

“I’m not saying I’m a zombie expert, but I have seen every George A. Romero movie ever made.”

“I used to be afraid of zombies, but then I realized they’re just like us – they’re always searching for their next meal.”

“If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em – that’s my philosophy in case of a zombie apocalypse.”

“Why do zombies make terrible comedians? Because their delivery is always deadpan.”

“I don’t always survive a zombie attack, but when I do, I make sure to tweet about it.”

“Zombies are like telemarketers – they’re always calling, they won’t take no for an answer, and they’re always trying to sell you something you don’t want.”

“I never understood why the zombies in The Walking Dead were always slouching – don’t they know good posture is important for brain function?”

“The biggest mistake in a zombie apocalypse is thinking you can outrun the zombies. You just have to outrun the slowest member of your group.”