FUNNY CHILDBIRTH QUOTES

“Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.” – Carol Burnett

“Giving birth is the only time in life when it’s acceptable to scream, poop, and cry in public all at the same time.” – Unknown

“Giving birth is like running a marathon, except you’re drunk, and a tiny person is trying to escape from your body.” – Unknown

“Giving birth is a very unique act of selflessness, where you willingly allow another human being to exit your body without an escape plan.” – Unknown

“Giving birth is like being a piƱata. You get hit, pulled, and prodded until someone finally reaches the prize.” – Unknown

“Giving birth is like playing a game of Jenga, except with your organs.” – Unknown

“Giving birth is like trying to pull a watermelon out of a straw.” – Unknown

“Giving birth is like trying to push a bowling ball through a garden hose.” – Unknown

“Giving birth is like doing the limbo dance, except the bar is your cervix.” – Unknown

“Giving birth is like being in a horror movie, but the monster is inside of you.” – Unknown

“Giving birth is like baking a cake, except you can’t see the ingredients, and the oven is your own body.” – Unknown

“Giving birth is like trying to fit an elephant through a keyhole.” – Unknown

“Giving birth is like being a magician, except instead of pulling a rabbit out of a hat, you’re pulling a baby out of your womb.” – Unknown JUDGEMENT QUOTE

“Giving birth is like trying to stuff a watermelon into a balloon.” – Unknown

“Giving birth is like playing a game of chicken with your body.” – Unknown

“Giving birth is like trying to take off a wet swimsuit that’s three sizes too small.” – Unknown

“Giving birth is like trying to extinguish a raging forest fire with a squirt gun.” – Unknown

“Giving birth is like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole, except the peg is your baby, and the hole is your pelvis.” – Unknown

“Giving birth is like trying to solve a Rubik’s Cube blindfolded.” – Unknown

“Giving birth is like running a marathon, but instead of a finish line, you get a baby.” – Unknown

“Giving birth is like trying to escape from a straightjacket that only gets tighter.” – Unknown

“Giving birth is like trying to get out of a crowded elevator, except everyone is trying to get out through your vagina.” – Unknown

“Giving birth is like trying to pass a kidney stone, but the stone is a baby.” – Unknown

“Giving birth is like trying to push a car up a hill with your bare hands.” – Unknown