BARBER QUOTES FUNNY

“I never figured out how to cut hair, but I did learn how to make small talk while holding scissors.”

“My barber always manages to turn my bad hair day into a bad hair week.”

“I once asked my barber for a little off the top. He took an inch off my forehead.”

“My barber told me that I should shave in the direction of the hair growth. I replied, ‘That’s great advice – if I wanted to look like a chia pet.'”

“My barber asked me if I wanted a trim or a new hairstyle. I said, ‘Surprise me.’ He gave me a bowl cut.”

“My barber is so good that I can’t tell whether he’s cutting my hair or performing open-heart surgery.”

“My barber suggested I try going bald. I asked him if he was trying to put himself out of business.”

“My barber knows me so well that he gives me the same haircut every time – even when I ask for something different.”

“I asked my barber for a fade. He replied, ‘Sorry, I only do flat tops.'”

“My barber once gave me a mullet without me even asking. That’s when I knew I had trust issues.”

“My barber’s idea of a trim is taking off four inches of hair. I replied, ‘I said trim, not lobotomy.'”

“I sat in the barber’s chair and said, ‘Make me look good.’ He replied, ‘That’s not in my job description.'”

“I once asked my barber for a modern, trendy haircut. He gave me the same cut he’s been giving since the 80s.” DAVID ZERFOSS QUOTES

“My barber once told me that a good haircut will make you look 10 years younger. I replied, ‘I don’t think a lobotomy counts as a haircut.'”

“My barber suggested I try a buzz cut. I replied, ‘I already have a bald spot.'”

“My barber told me that he could give me a new look that says I’m hip, cool, and with the times. He then proceeded to give me a mullet.”

“I asked my barber for an edgy, modern hairstyle. He gave me a comb-over.”

“My barber’s favorite tool is the vacuum, not the scissors. That’s when I knew I was in trouble.”

“I once asked my barber for a fade. He gave me a bowl cut with a slowly fading headache.”

“My barber cut my hair so short I could’ve been mistaken for a bar of soap.”

“My barber suggested I bleach my hair. I replied, ‘I don’t want to look like the Love Child of Eminem and a poodle.'”

“My barber’s idea of a layered haircut is taking a chainsaw to my head.”

“I asked my barber for a haircut that would make me look like Brad Pitt. He replied, ‘Sure, may I recommend a mask?'”

“My barber suggested I try a perm. I replied, ‘I don’t want to look like a Q-tip.'”