“I’m not a boss, I’m a leader. Actually, I’m not either of those things. I’m just the person who gets blamed when things go wrong.”

“How do you know your boss is an idiot? They ask you to do something, and then tell you to do something else and ask why the first thing wasn’t done.”

“I don’t believe in micromanagement, just active supervision from a distance.”

“If at first you don’t succeed, blame someone else and delegate the task to them.”

“As a manager, I like to remind my employees that I can be replaced, but they’re not so easily replaced.”

“If you’re not making mistakes, you’re not trying hard enough. If you’re making the same mistakes repeatedly, you’re probably just a bad manager.”

“The best way to motivate your staff is to have them watch you do nothing all day.”

“The only thing worse than a bad manager is a manager who thinks they’re a good manager.”

“I’m not a control freak, I’m just really good at telling people what to do.”

“I like to think of my management style as hands-off, until I need to yell at someone.”

“My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.”

“I don’t always micromanage, but when I do, I make sure to do it thoroughly.”

“My management philosophy is simple: never let your employees see you cry.” BAD APPLE QUOTES

“I’m not a bad manager, I’m just really good at making bad decisions.”

“The key to being a good manager is knowing when to delegate and when to blame.”

“Good managers build teams, bad managers build resumes.”

“The more meetings you have, the less work you’re getting done.”

“The best thing about being a manager is that you get to watch other people work.”

“I’m not a boss, I’m a coach. A coach who doesn’t really know the rules of the game.”

“I’m convinced our company has a special department dedicated to making bad management decisions.”

“I may not be the best manager, but I’m probably the best at pretending I know what I’m doing.”

“The only thing worse than a bad boss is having no boss and no direction.”

“Being a bad manager is like being a clown with coulrophobia – you’re in the wrong profession.”

“I’m not a bad manager, I’m just ahead of the curve on making terrible decisions.”