“You are not an asshole, you are the entire ass.”

“I’ve met plenty of assholes in my life, but you, sir, are the Grand Poobah of Assholes.”

“Your attitude is so shitty, it’s like you use sandpaper as toilet paper.”

“Honestly, I’m surprised you haven’t suffocated from your own hot air.”

“You must have mistaken me for someone who gives a crap about your opinion.”

“You’re a walking, talking dumpster fire of a human being.”

“I can’t decide if you’re just plain mean or if you’re trying to set a world record for the most asshole-ish behavior.”

“You’re like a mosquito in my ear – incredibly annoying and impossible to get rid of.”

“I’d rather dip my head in a bucket of acid than spend another minute in your company.” “Your face looks like it’s melting from the heat radiating off your tremendous ego.”

“You need a pretty big ego to be as big of an asshole as you are.”

“If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on earth.”

“You know what they say about opinions, right? They’re like assholes. And boy do you have a big one.” STANDING ALONE QUOTES

“You’re not just an asshole, you’re a whole new level of douchebaggery.”

“If you were any more self-centered, you’d be a circle.”

“I’m pretty sure Satan himself could learn a thing or two from your level of spitefulness.”

“I’m not sure which is bigger – your ego or your sense of entitlement.”

“It’s amazing how someone can be so full of themselves and so empty on the inside.”

“You’re like a dark cloud of negativity and unpleasantness that follows me around everywhere I go.”

“I have never met someone whose company I despise more than yours.”

“Your heart is so cold, it makes the Arctic Circle seem like a tropical paradise.”

“I’d rather swim in a pool filled with razor blades and lemon juice than have to deal with you for one more second.”

“Even your shadow doesn’t want to stick around you for too long.”

“If you actually had a filter between your brain and your mouth, you might not be such a colossal asshole.”