AL MURRAY PUB LANDLORD QUOTES

“We’re all the same, we’re all British. Some of us just happen to be better than others.”

“The French have a word for it, and that word is ‘non’.”

“Let’s not mince words, let’s not sugar-coat it, let’s call it like it is: Europe is a bunch of wimps.”

“Here’s to alcohol, the cause of – and solution to – all of life’s problems.”

“I’m not a racist, I love everyone. Especially white people.”

“I don’t have a racist bone in my body. I’ve got plenty of joints though.”

“What’s wrong with being called a xenophobe? It’s much better than being called an Anglophobe.”

“In Britain, we don’t need a wall to keep immigrants out. We’ve got the English Channel for that.”

“If I wanted to listen to a bunch of people speaking foreign, I’d go to Wales.”

“I’m not anti-European, I’m just pro-British.”

“It’s not the size of your boat, it’s the size of your flag that counts.”

“I’m not a politician, I’m a pub landlord. I’m here to serve beer, not ideas.”

“I’m not being insular, I’m being patriotic.” PROPERTY MANAGEMENT QUOTES

“If you don’t like it here, go back to where you came from. But if you’re from Scotland or Wales, you’re screwed.”

“I’m not narrow-minded, I’m just broad-shouldered.”

“Europe can keep their croissants and their wine, because we’ve got pork scratchings and bitter.”

“I’m not anti-immigrant, I’m just anti-idiot.”

“If you don’t like the pub, you can leave. If you don’t like the country, you can leave. But don’t let the door hit you on the way out.”

“I’m not afraid of change, I’m just afraid of change that involves metric measurements.”

“If we leave Europe, we’ll be able to go back to the good old days. You know, when the only thing foreign in the pub was a bag of crisps.”

“I’m not a bigot, I’m an equal opportunities offender.”

“If you can’t beat them, join them. And then beat them anyway, because they’re French.”

“In Britain, we don’t need a European superstate. We’ve got the Queen for that.”

“I’m not anti-European, I just don’t like being told what to do by a bunch of cheese-eating surrender monkeys.”